Shraddha Ashram, India

The trip of my lifetime has started!

It seemed that way.

I, Holly, will be writing this journal entry.

November 2007
Shraddha Ashram, India

I sat down as the meditation started.

The swami that had instructed me and a lot of other people for the past week told us to breathe in and out. He told us to rid our minds of all thoughts and of all worries.

I couldn't do it.

Even though I came here for spirituality, all that I had gained was being even more antsy.

During the silent meditations, my thoughts would always wander to random thoughts. I couldn't even calm myself down!

I had thought that my trip to the Shraddha Ashram would bring me peace and spirituality inside of me, but it was the exact opposite.

My mind was determined to go through this, but my body refused to.

After going through the the first session of meditation and yoga, I finally met up with Amanda and Jen. I had a different schedule than them after all. They just signed up for this thing for a week.

When we went to sit down on bamboo mats for breakfast, we were talking about what we were going to eat when we got out. We couldn't really eat meat. We were strictly on a vegeterian diet. This day was Amanda and Jen's last day, so they were pretty excited to get out of the Shraddha Ashram.

Unlike me, Jen was actually glowing a little. She looked healthier than she had been throughout our whole trip. Not only did her skin glow, but my skin did too. I could have sworn I lost weight too. I guess being in here had good results (excluding the fact that I can't relax).

After breakfast, I had to go do work. The work I had to do was cleaning the bathrooms. I have no idea how cleaning bathrooms is supposed to make a person feel purified or relaxed, but I did it anyway.

After going through my day, I met up with Amanda and Jen again. This was their last day and I wanted to say good-bye to them. It was sad, because we hadn't been apart since we returned to New York. When I was separated from them, it was like losing a part of me. I had to accept their departure, because I was the one who wanted to stay here for a month.

After saying our good-byes, I decided to toughen it up to try to find spirituality.